CrabNation kicks off the weekend with the following stories: moronic militias threaten to block traffic at our borders; retirees are still paying for their college educations #insane; according to Phil Robertson of dumb Duck Dynasty, STDs are God’s penalty for being gay #I’mwithstupid; Kentucky cops conduct warrant-less searches at a dive bar; Missouri stifles women’s rights; Rob Ford hopes it’s not a tumor; child-killer George Zimmerman continues his monstrous ways. Finally, an eyewitness who said on T.V. that the Saturday night Palin family brawl was like an episode of Jerry Springer ends up losing his job.