CrabDiving – Thu 042315 – Beck Crosses Reefer Rubicon, Jesus-Themed Sexy-Time w/Priest, Murica Be Executing Like A Mofo

Pat and Ryan learn how Bryan Fischer believes the Bible will be turned in Mein Kampf, plus these hot headlines: Glenn Beck crosses the Rubicon and bestows his blessing upon the legalization of weed; family members reunited via Tinder; Students are free to receive Bibles and coloring books courtesy of Satan in Oklahoma. Finally, congrats to Murica along with Iran, Saudi Arabia, Iraq and some other horrendous countries on the being the best at executing folks; and give it up for a priest’s attention to detail in an elaborate, Jesus-themed sexual roleplay.

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CrabDiving – Wed 042315 – Christian Flag Creepy, Pharmacist Won’t Do Her Job Cuz Jesus, Huckabee Hard For Guns

On hump day, the crabs sink their pincers into the following stories: the new Muppets won’t be for kids; Pope Francis tangles with Murican Christo-ban ninnies; Faux News host like totally sucks; Walmart pharmacist in Taliban-esque Georgia refuses to dispense meds prescribed by a freaking doctor cuz Jesus; speaking of Georgia, the city council of some po-dunk shit-hole votes to fly the Christian flag over city hall, even though they’re going to get so sued; Pat Robertson praises Jesus for saving a broad from lesbianism; climate change won’t be real to the Republicans until Florida is submerged; Huckabee rock hard for guns; O’Reilly, the big fat liar, thinks he knows a thing or two about the law and the Supreme Court. Lastly, Pat and Ryan analyze the lyrics of the Village People hit, “Sodom And Gomorrah.”

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The Hollywood Hick – Fri 041715 – Manilow Apologies, Good Vibes to Big Ang

This time Brent Parris, aka the Hollywood Hick, waxes poetic on these stories:  Barry Manilow apologies.  Kim Richards is a straight up mess.  Big Ang still need our good energies, MotherTruckers!  Suge Knight soap opera is still killing it (pun intended). Michael Buble Butt-Troversy.  Was that Dennis Quaid video real or fake?  Tim McGraw is the good kind of country singer, and a Florida Man that will really make you feel so much better about yourself.

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Let Us See The Trans-Pacific Partnership, Mr. President

President Obama says he “loves” Elizabeth Warren, but that her opposition to the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) is “wrong,” and we should all trust that he wouldn’t sign a deal that progressives wouldn’t like.

Senator Warren responded in a blog posting:

“The government doesn’t want you to read this massive new trade agreement. It’s top secret. Why? Here’s the real answer people have given me: “We can’t make this deal public because if the American people saw what was in it, they would be opposed to it.” If the American people would be opposed to a trade agreement if they saw it, then that agreement should not become the law of the United States.”

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, who is vehemently opposed to trade deals in general, weighed in with, “You couldn’t find a person … who feels more negatively about it (the TPP) than I do. So the answer is not only no, but hell no.”

The retiring Senator from Nevada continued:

“I have never, ever in my 33 years in Congress ever supported, ever supported a trade agreement. And I’m not going to start now. They’re not good for the American people. They’re not good for working men and women. It puts us at a disadvantage.”

So let’s see it, Mr. President.  You ask your supporters to “trust you,” but we trusted Clinton when he touted the North American Free Trade Agreement, which has been a disaster.

Congress and administration must allow full debate in Congress – no “Fast Track” – so the American people can sniff this deal and decide if it is a gem or a big, giant turd like NAFTA.

No TPP Elizabeth Warren - CrabDiving