CrabNation Live! Archives - CrabDiving

CrabNation – Thu – 103014 – Liberal And Conservative Cities, Evolved Pope, Robbery At Teat Point

crabdiving — Thu, 30 Oct 2014 21:26:16 +0000

Thursday’s show features the following headlines: Obama continues to spread tyranny by cutting the number of deportations; RWNJ types still want control over the vuh-jay-jay; the CEO of Apple is out y’all; the Pope’s controversial view that humans may have evolved is freaking out dullard evangelical types; German absconds with cash at nipple point. Finally, Pat and Ryan rifle off a list of the most conservative and liberal cities in Murica and also try to figure how life is precious while in the womb but it’s cool if Darren Wilson is suspended from his job with pay after gunning down an unarmed human being. #Thingsthatmakeyougohmmmm

Listen—> CrabNation Tuesday, October 30, 2014

Back to—> October 2014 shows

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CrabNation Wed – 102914 – Legitimate Bestiality, Canseco Pea-Shooter Misfire, Viruses From Yesteryear

crabdiving — Wed, 29 Oct 2014 23:41:48 +0000

On today’s show, the Crabs mete out the following tales of woe: even if you are getting buggered by a bloke in a tiger costume, it isn’t legitimate bestiality; a 75 year old contrarian in Wisconsin that refuses to clean up his mess is met with shock and awe by the local fuzz; former roid Ranger Jose Canseco shoots himself whilst cleaning his pea shooter #lol; trick or treat let me smell your feet or confiscate your undies says Officer Pervy; the KKK is accepting applications via PO BOX. Finally, as the Earth warms, and the poo melts, disease and viruses are gonna get medieval on our asses.

Listen—> CrabNation Tuesday, October 29, 2014

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CrabNation Tue – 102814 – NRA For Eating Dogs, Atheist Makes His Paper, Pope Says God Is Not Magic

crabdiving — Wed, 29 Oct 2014 00:02:08 +0000

On this episode of CrabNation, Pat and Ryan are joined by comic Becky Klueger and the following stories are covered: George Clinton’s new book has tips for all sorts of extracurricular activities; California atheist makes his paper; the lovely folks over at the NRA have objections to a bill that would ban the harvesting of dogs and cats for food in Pennsylvania; a lunatic from WorldNetDaily thinks things are worse now for African Americans than like back in the slavery days; the Pope claims God isn’t magic. Finally, the dude that busted up the 10 Commandments with a two ton grim reaper was a big ole Christian #oopsie.

Listen—> CrabNation Tuesday, October 28, 2014

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CrabNation Mon – 102714 – Canadian House Of Syltheren, Millennials Mold Murica, Skywalker Hits the Bacta Tank

crabdiving — Tue, 28 Oct 2014 00:47:38 +0000

CrabNation Monday brings you these headlines: godless millennial types will end RWNJ Murica; Pat Robertson is losing fans in Kenya cuz he suggested their towels have AIDS; non-believer scores 2 mill in a lawsuit and doesn’t have to give it up to a higher power; Canadian home owners vacate House of Slytheren; a bunch of dullard creationists lounge about, picking their toes while trying to draw connections between Hitler and evolution #I’mwithstupid. Finally, the Crabs sing the praises of the Bacta Tank that saved Luke Skywalker’s life after the incident with Wampa.

Listen—> CrabNation Monday, October 27, 2014

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CrabNation Fri – 102414 – Speaking In Tongues, Pray To My Stripper-Name, Track Palin Audio Clips

crabdiving — Sat, 25 Oct 2014 01:06:38 +0000

On this TGIF episode of CrabNation, Pat and Ryan learn about “speaking in tongues” from mega-church-charlatan-showman, Kenneth Copeland. We also cover these headlines: Sarah Palin’s son Track describes his supposed assailant as a “little bitch” while musing about his costly shirt and a buddy of his who may or may not be gay; Nicholas Cage’s movie is left way behind at the box office; career RWNJ Alan Keyes calls for the impeachment of Obama #whoaskedyou; Chrissy Teigen has a nice bottom according to Fox ninny Andrea Tantaros. Finally, we review the top 5 songs in Murica and learn that a lunatic in Washington state is suing for the real names of local strippers so that he can properly pray for their sexy souls.

Listen—> CrabNation Friday, October 24, 2014

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CrabNation Thur – 102314 – Gohmert Muses On Man-Massages, The Republic Of Reagan, Anderson Cooper Rejects AIDS Towel

crabdiving — Thu, 23 Oct 2014 22:06:22 +0000

On Thursday, Pat and Ryan feature some RWNJs that were elected to Congress by people that should not be trusted with the sharp straw stuck to the back of their Capri Suns; Steve King’s vision of heaven most likely has a lot of white in it and maybe some similarly colored wangs #thouprotesttoomuch; Louie Gohmert reminisces about the good ole days when Greek soldiers would reach-around to massage one another before a battle #missedout; Michele Bachmann uses her ignorance to become an ISIS target; Anderson Cooper thinks Pat Robertson’s sidekick is a zombie; Faux News reporter thinks young women are too preoccupied with Tinder and OkCupid to serve on a jury #IlikeIke; ridic RWNJ author that still has issues with the Lincoln presidency wants the south to secede and form a republic with a one-word name (hint – he was Bonzo’s costar). Finally, John Cleese, who is currently married, has 3 ex-wives #heshouldknowbetter.

Listen—> CrabNation Thursday, October 23, 2014

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CrabNation Tue – 102214 – Gays Are Not Gremlins, Bakker Is Back, Palin Brawl Audio

crabdiving — Thu, 23 Oct 2014 01:13:47 +0000

Wednesday’s CrabNation delivers these stories: Renee Zellweger tells the universe to get used to her new face; RWNJ, Anthony Culler compares gays to gremlins #I’mwithstupid; Jim Bakker, the dude from the 90’s that schtupped Jessica Hahn and duped folks out of millions, decides to appeal to your sweet tooth and fear of a zombie apocalypse; Bristol is admonished by Mommy for swearing in the midst of some amazing audio captured from the Palin “Wasilla-Billy” brawl.

Listen—> CrabNation Tuesday, October 22, 2014

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CrabNation Tue – 102114 – PA Supreme Court Sticky Issue, Gohmert Finds Bright-Side To Ebola, Fleshlight Hunt

crabdiving — Tue, 21 Oct 2014 23:22:37 +0000

The Crabs, along with Comedian Quincy Johnson II, cover the following on Tuesday: a citizen pulls over the fuzz and lets him go with a warning; RWNJ Louie Gohmert explains how Ebola could keep illegals from invading our borders #brightside; PA Supreme Court finds itself in a bit of sticky situation #tissues; SC Governor lets us know that rich white people don’t have a problem with the stars and bars on their state flag; KY correctional officer gets zero jail time for sexually assaulting and selling drugs to prisoners; Fleshlights stuffed with cash are soon to be hunted.

Listen—> CrabNation Monday, October 21, 2014

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CrabNation Mon -102014 – Cliven Bundy Endorses RWNJ, Another Murderous Clown, Soccer Dude Should Have Tebow’d

crabdiving — Mon, 20 Oct 2014 23:01:39 +0000

The Crabs are joined in-studio by comedian Rick Wood and cover the following stories: the Earth is hot hot hot; an RWNJ African American Cowboy dude running for public office in Nevada has gained the support of Cliven Bundy; a French jerk-off teenager is arrested for brandishing a knife in a threatening manner whilst dressed as Bozo; Elvis themed Wedding Chapel in Vegas refuses to perform gay marriage ceremonies #Don’tbecruel; Soccer player should have Tebow’d; Craigslist ad in Anchorage trolls for footage of the recent Palin brawl. Finally, Rick reveals his secret formula for successful relationships.

Listen—> CrabNation Monday, October 20, 2014

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CrabNation Fri – 101714 – Gohmert Goes Gah-Gah, Fabian Tribute, Glenn Beck Is Dexter

crabdiving — Fri, 17 Oct 2014 18:49:10 +0000

To wrap up the week, the headlines topic of hurricanes led Ryan & Pat to a lengthy Fabian retrospective and the following stories: dullard Louie Gohmert says Democrats are deploying ebola in a War on Women Nurses; Glenn Beck’s studio is transformed into a Dexter set for a projectile vomiting/diarrhea demo; a new Glenn Beck epic rage clip convinces the Crabs he should be playing Shakespeare; the Crabs bust out the top 5 songs in Murica. Also, the guys wish Elisabeth Hasselbeck a speedy recovery and quick return to providing them hilarious material.

Listen—> CrabNation Friday, October 17, 2014

Back to—> October 2014 shows

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