July 2014 Archives - CrabDiving

CrabNation Thu – 073114 – Ted Cruz Has Xenophobic Pizza Party, Mexichusetts, Vin Scully Does Not Retire

crabdiving — Thu, 31 Jul 2014 22:14:06 +0000

On Thursday’s CrabNation, the Crabs pinch off the following stories: Ted Cruz hosts a pizza party with all his RWNJ buddies to decide the fate of hungry, abused children seeking asylum in #Murica; Massachusetts is morphing into Mexichusetts according to a right wing wacko from New England; Steve King wants to put refugee kids into “camps” #xenophobe; young gay kids are getting kidnapped and hauled off to “turn me straight” prisons; open-carry-kooks are going back to school; the Pope cares more about the poor than Congress; Finally, a big Crabby salute to Vin Scully for continuing a broadcasting career that started with the Brooklyn Dodgers.

Listen—> CrabNation Thursday, July 31, 2014

Back to—> July 2014 shows

The post CrabNation Thu – 073114 – Ted Cruz Has Xenophobic Pizza Party, Mexichusetts, Vin Scully Does Not Retire appeared first on CrabDiving.

CrabNation Wed – 073014 – Trouble At Home For Governor Ultrasound, Cruz Battles Boehner, Beckel Calls The Kettle Black

crabdiving — Wed, 30 Jul 2014 21:41:00 +0000

CrabNation Wednesday brings you a cornucopia of kooks engaging in the following shenanigans: Governor Ultrasound, the dude that wanted any woman seeking an abortion to be probed, might have had some problems getting along with his wife #shocker; Ted Cruz leads a RWNJ revolt against the oh-so-orange Boehner; we can’t seem to get the pet-coke dust off of our backs or out of our lungs; Bob Beckel, who once paid a hooker with a personal check, labels a contestant on the Bachelorette a slut #LOL: Geraldo Rivera believes Matt Drudge is bellowing the flames of civil war. Lastly, Orlando Bloom swings at Justin Bieber and sadly misses.

Listen—> CrabNation Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Back to—> July 2014 shows

The post CrabNation Wed – 073014 – Trouble At Home For Governor Ultrasound, Cruz Battles Boehner, Beckel Calls The Kettle Black appeared first on CrabDiving.

CrabNation Tue – 072914 – RWNJs Continue To Attack Murica, Preventing Shark Bites, Quit Crapping On Pennsylvania

crabdiving — Tue, 29 Jul 2014 22:30:36 +0000

Pat and Ryan offer a scathing critique of the Wonders of the World and cover the following stories on this episode: whether Mississippi likes it or not, the #RWNJ old white guy club has to let women have access to healthcare #2014; a device is invented that will prevent all shark attacks, that only one percent-ers can afford; Bill O’Reilly reminds us that he is a horrible, gross racist; Rush Limbaugh thinks getting smacked around by a professional football player is totally worth it if the abuser-jock ends up putting a ring on your finger #hillybillyheroin; Pat Robertson reminisces on the good ole days when you could cast off a “stained,” pregnant, unwed woman #WWJD. Finally, the Crabs would like to throw their support behind a small town in Pennsylvania that just wants people to stop crapping all over their lawns.

Listen—> CrabNation Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Back to—> July 2014 shows

The post CrabNation Tue – 072914 – RWNJs Continue To Attack Murica, Preventing Shark Bites, Quit Crapping On Pennsylvania appeared first on CrabDiving.

CrabNation Mon – 072814 – Satanists Are Smart, Murica Hates Non-White Immigrants, Sarah Palin TV Channel Caters To Dopes

crabdiving — Mon, 28 Jul 2014 21:37:46 +0000

On Monday’s CrabNation, Pat and Ryan give thanks to the Satanists for out-thinking the pukes at Hobby Lobby #AllPraiseBaphomet. The following is also raged upon: according to Drudge, Ebola is only one plane ride away #Travelocity; god is smiting down stoner-homos and libs by raining hell-fire upon the Sodo-matic beaches of Venice, CA; we listen to ex-V.P. candidate and simpleton Sarah Palin talk about the upcoming Sarah Palin Channel #dontchaknow. Lastly, dial down your IQs as we listen to clips of the dullards down at the border trying to explain why they’re scared of both the Chinese and radical Muslims.

Listen—> CrabNation Monday, July 28, 2014

Back to—> July 2014 shows

The post CrabNation Mon – 072814 – Satanists Are Smart, Murica Hates Non-White Immigrants, Sarah Palin TV Channel Caters To Dopes appeared first on CrabDiving.

CrabNation Fri – 072514 – Black Jesus, Glenn Beck Cries For A Plane, Kentucky Town Gets Their Socialism On

crabdiving — Fri, 25 Jul 2014 21:17:25 +0000

On Friday, the Crabs bring you the following tales from #Murica which, like Iran still has the death penalty. We also cover these stories: Kentucky town bankrolls a gas station with tax dollars and the oil lobby loses their tar-balls; “Million Moms” are mos def not down for Black Jesus #bitchbecool; Glenn Beck needs a plane and an Oscar #callJohnTravolta. There’s also our weekly trivia segment and a run-down of the top five songs per Billboard.

Listen—> CrabNation Friday, July 25, 2014

Back to—> July 2014 shows

The post CrabNation Fri – 072514 – Black Jesus, Glenn Beck Cries For A Plane, Kentucky Town Gets Their Socialism On appeared first on CrabDiving.

CrabNation Thu – 072414 – Mayor Bans Atheist Logic Station In City Hall, Obama Traffic, Sex Change For Bathroom Privileges

crabdiving — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 21:22:17 +0000

On CrabNation, we learn Glenn Beck could be convinced that Jesus was married #colormeinterested. Plus we cover the following stories: moronic Michigan Mayor won’t let the atheists set up a booth next to the “prayer station” in city hall #ETPhoneHome; another plane disappears but Drudge thinks the biggest story is Obama’s motorcade causing a traffic jam in La-La-Land; crazy person Gordon Klingenschmitt thinks the motive behind some gender reassignment surgeries is to gain some much coveted face time in the lady’s crapper #genius.

Listen—> CrabNation Thursday, July 24, 2014

Back to—> July 2014 shows

The post CrabNation Thu – 072414 – Mayor Bans Atheist Logic Station In City Hall, Obama Traffic, Sex Change For Bathroom Privileges appeared first on CrabDiving.

CrabNation Wed – 072314 – Ukraine Planes Downed By Uncle Nipples, Tea Party Loonies, Christ-o-ban Harvests the Souls Of Kids

crabdiving — Wed, 23 Jul 2014 22:32:28 +0000

CrabNation Wednesday brings you these stories: two Ukraine fighter planes might have been downed by Uncle Nipples; Steve Doocy doesn’t believe your life is worth saving if you don’t speak English #WWJD; Hollywood is having a crap summer at the box office #haha; evil Christ-o-ban-Jesus-fascists are harvesting the souls of children on public property #orburninhell; RWNJ Tea Party maniac wants our Commander-In-Chief drawn and quartered for I guess improving unemployment numbers, revolutionizing healthcare and killing Osama Bin Laden. Finally, New Orleans kind of sends a “F.U.” to the nut-ball hate group “Operation Save America.”

Listen—> CrabNation Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Back to—> July 2014 shows

The post CrabNation Wed – 072314 – Ukraine Planes Downed By Uncle Nipples, Tea Party Loonies, Christ-o-ban Harvests the Souls Of Kids appeared first on CrabDiving.

CrabNation Tue 072214 – Ken Ham Says Aliens Will Burn In Hell, Gene Simmons Is A Jerk-Off, Christians Behaving Badly

crabdiving — Tue, 22 Jul 2014 21:43:59 +0000

On this episode, Pat and Ryan cover the following stories: Ken Ham says that alien life will mos def burn in hell #ETPhoneHome; DC court tries to gut Obamacare; a lady lets the lord pilot her automobile to the detriment of a motorcyclist; Gene Simmons and Ted Nugent both totally suck. Finally, a moment of silence during a Unitarian church service is destroyed by an evil gaggle of Christo-facist jerk-offs.

Listen—> CrabNation Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Back to—> July 2014 shows

The post CrabNation Tue 072214 – Ken Ham Says Aliens Will Burn In Hell, Gene Simmons Is A Jerk-Off, Christians Behaving Badly appeared first on CrabDiving.

CrabNation Mon 072114 – Colorado Gets the Plague, Invasion Of the Lionfish, Addictive DNA

crabdiving — Mon, 21 Jul 2014 21:42:25 +0000

CrabNation Monday is welcomed with these headlines: youngsters are learning from the past and opting to not get down on one knee; the plague is in Colorado, y’all #savethestoners; there’s still running water in Detroit #relax; gay marriage enters stage left in Florida and Oklahoma; the diabolical, non-native lionfish could invade rivers and streams #ScrambleAirForceOne; wife shoots husband over a suspiciously light load; the Voice of CrabNation calls in with a “Vagina Moment” and we learn that semen can be incredibly addictive #duh. Finally, Pat and Ryan read through some of the stupid protest signs RWNJ #Murica is waving in the faces of immigrant children #WWJD

Listen—> CrabNation Monday, July 21, 2014

Back to—> July 2014 shows

The post CrabNation Mon 072114 – Colorado Gets the Plague, Invasion Of the Lionfish, Addictive DNA appeared first on CrabDiving.

CrabNation Fri 071814 – Chem-Trails For Morons, Glenn Beck Raises Money For LGBT, Nestle Bottles Water During Drought

crabdiving — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 22:22:45 +0000

CrabNation welcomes the weekend with the following insanity: County Supervisors in Shasta, California meet to officially discuss chem-trails #morons; lunatic green thumb threatens to shoot everyone on the Miami-Dade County Commission if they seize his property #GotToJail; Glenn Beck, AKA the Great Ham-Head, indirectly and unintentionally causes a little good in Massachusetts; a dude running for Congress believes environmentalists are responsible for global warming #ImWithStupid; Nestle continues to bottle water during a drought #IGotMine; Crystal Ball of MSNBC should listen more when interviewing folks that call in claiming to be know things. Finally, Rick Perry is oh so hot right now according to some ridic poles #gross.

Listen—> CrabNation Friday, July 18, 2014

Back to—> July 2014 shows

The post CrabNation Fri 071814 – Chem-Trails For Morons, Glenn Beck Raises Money For LGBT, Nestle Bottles Water During Drought appeared first on CrabDiving.