Pretty Misandry Archives - CrabDiving

Pretty Misandry – E018 – 3000 Feminist Points & How To Get Laid – NOT!

crabdiving — Mon, 01 Feb 2016 15:43:57 +0000

In this flower of an episode plucked too soon by undeserving mortals, your host fondly recalls last summer’s Online Harassment Melee, during which she received hundreds of hateful messages after posting some anti-MRA videos online. Her self esteem was bruised, but she amassed 3000 feminist points, which can be cashed in for nothing at all. Lately Real Humans rather than Anonymous Neckbeards have been vocalizing their distaste for shit Pretty Misandrist says. An LA-based tattoo artist takes issue on Instagram with her celebration over sex predator Heathcliff Berru’s downfall, suggesting that her mental illness is to blame for her disliking sex predators. Another fellow was upset by your host posting a screen grab of a stupid man randomly asking a lady for a “rim job,” undoubtedly because this man also asks random women for rim jobs. Your host then risks her own life and sanity by listening to an interview with Head MRA Paul Elam on the Tom Leykis show. It’s morally repugnant, SURPRISE! The PM brushes up on Paul Elam’s backstory; he was a deadbeat dad that skipped out on child support and now is the fearless leader of a bunch of weird whiny dudes who hate women. He’s GREAT at being disgusting and making instructional videos such as “How To Get Laid Part 2.” Spoiler, if you want to get laid DON’T BE A MEN’S RIGHTS ACTIVIST.

Enjoy this episode of the Pretty Misandry feminist rant podcast!

E018 – 3000 Feminist Points & How To Get Laid – NOT!

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Pretty Misandry – E017 – Pick Up Artist Busted & Sneaky Creepers

crabdiving — Sun, 24 Jan 2016 02:43:21 +0000

In this episode that sprang from the Earth’s core, still dripping with Deadly Feminist Lava, your host groans loudly and discusses why sneaky creepers are always worse than overt creepers–cause sneaky creepers target your vulnerabilities and say increasingly sexual things to you, and overt creepers wear colorful hats that say “I AM AWFUL”! Thank Jeezo for the block feature. Your Pretty Misandrist then relates a beautiful tale of how she chastised a cat caller with another woman YES, angels did sing and flower petals and glitter were distributed generously. Some dipshit on Facebook did tell your PM that she is NOT allowed to retaliate against creeps if she also posts “skimpy” pictures online, which is a Rule of Life that seemingly only this man is aware of. This dude is clearly an amazing genius and his mind should be mined for the ANSWER TO EVERY QUESTION EVER. The PM is DEFINITELY in search of a very detailed MANual for women to answer such questions as, if I wear a crop top can I still cringe if a man grabs at me or should I maintain a stoic expression? Another man on the internet tells your host that she is ugly, which is the kind of insult that upsets her the least. Next time go for “not funny”! Your host then reads off #WhatWomenWantIn5Words from Twitter, which mostly involve food and One Direction. The PM finishes the episode off by regaling her dear listeners with the amazing tale of Jared Rutledge, a Pick Up Artist who was found out and ostracized in his small town. More on that in the next ep! Stay safe boneheads.

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Pick Up Artist Busted & Sneaky Creepers

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Pretty Misandry – E016 – Hot Stoner Girls & Bisexuality vs. Conservative Relatives

Ryan Pfeiffer — Tue, 19 Jan 2016 02:15:34 +0000

In an episode stitched together by politically active wood nymphs, your Pretty Misandrist laments about how asserting her bisexuality has caused tension amongst her conservative relatives. Why can’t she just make posts about her appreciation for hot stoner girls and be left in peace?! The PM then addresses the controversial figure of Kim Kardashian, and trashes critics whose only reason for hating her is that she is “fake.” Your host finds that Kim K has never done HER any wrongs and is very queenly and stylish so no complaints here! The PM pleads with everyone to not criticize public figures for making sex tapes and then download hacked celebrity naked pictures onto their phones. Your host takes a peep at Cosmopolitan’s website, a magazine which gave her many reasons for self-hatred as a teen, and does not find anything particularly offensive! PROGRESS. The PM moves onto weird instructional videos about how to text a lady that turn out to be incredibly boring, and settles on a hilarious trollish list on Hypermasculinity Central, aka Return of Kings. The writer of the article was once known as “Skoll” so that’s how you know he’s great.

Check out this episode of Pretty Misandry!

Hot Stoner Girls & Bisexuality vs. Conservative Relatives

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Pretty Misandry – E015 – Post Holiday Depression & Instagram Doppelgangers

crabdiving — Sat, 09 Jan 2016 21:57:26 +0000

In this Very Special Post Holiday Depression episode, Maggie reflects on how every film geek’s Fave Movies of the Year lists are all the same (including hers) and delves into her perfectly rational paranoia regarding her Instagram doppelgangers and how they are surely bent on ruining her life. HAVEN’T YOU SEEN THE TRAILER FOR “ENEMY” WITH JAKE GYLLENHAAL?! Your PM then describes her dope-ass honeymoon in Cayucos, CA, a beautiful oceanside town marred only by scuzzy surfers who think it is chill to hit on glorious women after telling them where the poop bags are (I ALREADY KNEW). Fun fact: the jewel of the Central Coast is the most beautiful Forever 21 on earth, which your host loves because she is cheap as fuck but still wants to seduce your dad. In other pressing news, 99% of male comedians are disgusting and why are any of us still trying to figure out “WHAT MEN LIKE.” Oh you don’t like girls with too much make-up? Cool have fun nitpicking women goddesses with your pick up artist friends, setting the record for the loneliest dicks in history. Also who is this Onision guy and why did I watch his video on “Do Guys Prefer Girls With Makeup?”?! This and so much more on the grumpiest podcast in HISTORY!

Listen to this episode of the Pretty Misandry feminist podcast!

E015 – Post Holiday Depression & Instagram Doppelgangers

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Pretty Misandry E014 – The Art Of Dickitude & Dating

crabdiving — Sun, 13 Dec 2015 01:03:28 +0000

In this fourteenth baptism of the devil-child named Feminism, your host expresses some serious anti-holiday sentiments that have arisen from years and years of stress, dysfunction, and weirdo relatives. Christian-y Christmas or Capitalist Propaganda Christmas, BOTH DUMB. Your Pretty Misandrist will be celebrating Christmas by NOT celebrating Christmas, the greatest Winter Solstice gift a girl could dream of. She moves onto a list of “45 Manly Hobbies” from The Art of Manliness, a website that is essential for any male who wishes to grow a bigger dick. Your host recalls with dismay all her “manly” hobbies which have trapped her in male-dominated fields, which leaves her filled with self-doubt, confusion, and many many rage-screams. Your PM (Prime Minister) then turns to 14 Red Flags of Dating from the Art of Dickitude, and finds that she meets probably all of these red flags and so much more. Whatever douchebags, just don’t date assholes OKAY!? DUH.

Listen to this episode of the Pretty Misandry feminist rant podcast!

Dickitude & Dating

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Pretty Misandry E013 – Jenny McCarthy HIV Comment & Going My Own Way

crabdiving — Sat, 05 Dec 2015 22:46:13 +0000

Pretty Misandry E13: In the 13th glorification of gynocentrism, your Pretty Misandrist recalls fond memories of watching Catfish marathons in the psych ward and less fond memories of years of traumatic Thanksgivings filled with sociopathic family guests. Oh the joys of a broken childhood! She goes on to rage at the extremely insensitive Jenny McCarthy for her self-described “ick” feelings towards those who are HIV-positive, and is horrified to discover that Jenny has a radio show of her very own. Lawmakers, please attend to this threat to national sanity. A glorious ode to Men’s Rights Activism, specifically Men Going Their Own Way, called “Go My Own Way” is played and rocked out to as your host celebrates that these rockers have pledged to never marry her or any other unfortunate woman. A Guide to Remaining Subservient to the Patriarchy from the 1950’s is read and verbally shredded, and your host discusses the aftermath of her Thanksgiving times and sends love to all those who are urged by their relatives to be less weird. Weird Girl 4 Lyfe.

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Pretty Misandry E013 – Jenny McCarthy HIV Comment & Going My Own Way

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Pretty Misandry – E012 – Pick Up Artist Surveillance Video & How To Be A Hot Girl Part II

crabdiving — Mon, 30 Nov 2015 00:52:34 +0000

On this twelfth spelunking trip into the Caverns of Misogyny, your host spits in the faces of the Comedy Gods by explaining why she can’t listen to groups of old white men talk or be funny any longer. The show takes an informative and personal turn as Maggie explains the process by which she reported her sexual assault that occurred 5 years ago. She then finishes analyzing Wikihow’s brilliant instructions on “How To Be A Hot Girl,” and watches a pretty dumb video on “How To Meet A Hot Girl”, which postulates that all men hate commitment and women love doing laundry. She wraps it up with a disturbing Pick Up Artist surveillance video entitled “Pulling Hot Girl from Street to Bed in 2 Hours” which is exactly as gross and bizarre as it sounds. Btw, Krakow is a great spot for “daygame,” and no I have no idea what that means.

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Pick Up Artist Surveillance Video & How To Be A Hot Girl Part II

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Pretty Misandry – E011 – Tales From The Psych Ward & How To Be A Hot Girl

crabdiving — Sat, 21 Nov 2015 22:50:21 +0000

In the eleventh adventure of the Spaceship Misandry, Maggie says super sad stuff about the Paris attacks and is, like everyone else, unable to make sense of the madness. After thoroughly saddening herself, she moves on to a new segment called “Tales from the Psych Ward,” which are pretty much exactly that. Your hostess with the mostest then addresses an excellently written and well-researched article on Wikihow entitled “How to Be a Hot Girl.” The Pretty Misandrist is angered by much of the advice and doesn’t care about your stupid expectations SOCIETY. If she’s not smelly she WON’T SHOWER OKAY!?!? And she doesn’t need lotion either!

Listen to this latest edition of Pretty Misandry!

Tales From The Psych Ward & How To Be A Hot Girl

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Pretty Misandry – E010 – Witchcraft, Sex Work & Silicon Valley

crabdiving — Thu, 12 Nov 2015 00:07:13 +0000

In Pretty Misandry’s tenth voyage to Rantville, USA, your host decries the classist assholery of Silicon Valley’s “new money” folk after being subjected to heinous snobbitude on a trip to San Jose. Your Pretty Misandrist is a little worse for wear after her clinical depression makes a comeback, but still manages to curse those who would judge her for her green hair and tattoos. She then presents the fully amazing God’s Not Dead 2 trailer, which features traitor to witchcraft Melissa Joan Hart as a teacher getting fired for talking about Jeezo in class. Whatever Christians, literally every other religion in America suffers more persecution than you ever will. Next on the menu is a Lifetime Original Movie Review for Babysitter’s Black Book, a movie which is very regressive in its attitude towards sex work and very confusing due to its cast of blonde white people who look identical. There is a new theme song for Pretty Misandry, “Seattle Girl” by the awesome Shane Holtzman! Check out her music!

Check out this episode of Pretty Misandry!

Witchcraft, Sex Work & Silicon Valley

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Pretty Misandry – E009 – Daddy Issues & Purity Balls

crabdiving — Sat, 31 Oct 2015 16:49:32 +0000

In Pretty Misandry’s ninth excavation of truth and beauty, your host vents some angst over pervy Craigslist posts and the pronounced absence of a female vengeance demon in the modern world. Baphomet, can you hear me? She then launches into the theme of the episode, DADS! The Pretty Misandrist’s dad is super dope and watched The Wire with her but not everyone is so lucky. Some people’s dads want to take them to Purity Balls where they can take a creepy chastity pledge and dance in tutus around crucifixes. The Misandrist throws fireballs at all wack job parents who are obsessed with their children’s sexuality and expresses gratitude that her dad would think those parents are fucking weird. He would rather talk about sports or about how everyone is a jerk.

Listen to this episode of Pretty Misandry

Daddy Issues & Purity Balls

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