CRABNATION SHOW ARCHIVES
JUN-JUL-AUG-SEP 2013
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CrabNation September 2013:
Monday September 30, 2013 – Listen to the latest CrabNation! Lots of liberal rage about the gov’t shutdown; a story of an epic urine vs. roast battle; why you should stay off planes; and stop flushing those damn baby wipes!
Thursday September 26, 2013 – Download CrabNation’s first extended 3 hour show of liberal rage. It’s the inaugural, prime-time episode of the internet radio program for Pat and Ryan. The first half-hour is hosted by the VOCnation skipper, Bruce Wert and radio personality, Nemar Wells. After that, the crabs takeover and infest the following topics: the best places to be born on the planet; an Australian priest is excommunicated Latin-style for being pro-gay marriage; reasons why the U.S. economy is going teats up; the Ted Cruz faux filibuster.
Monday September 23, 2013 – Hop on board the Crabby-ship as we discuss the following: ARod’s crumbling real estate empire in Miami; the abuse of power of the Policeman’s Union; a rundown of the 2013 Emmy Awards; Chicago architecture. Finally listen at the 40.45 mark as CrabNation gets prank called for the first time.
Friday September 20, 2013 – We take ride in the Republican clown car and also discuss the following: Michigan University is forced to remove a monument to protect it from Miley Cyrus-wanna-be snail trails; There’s another “When Animals Get P.O.’ed Segment” that includes, a bear attack, a shark mauling and a Detroit Tiger nacho nabbing; Fun guy snips sack and crashes wedding with jewels in hand; A judge that does Stand-Up Comedy is forced to choose between his gavel or guffaws.
Tuesday September 17, 2013 – On this episode, we discuss Britney Spears’ multi-million dollar contract to be a “resident artist” at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas. Congrats to Miley Cyrus for un-following and dumping her big dumb boyfriend. Murica wants M.T.V. fined for the lewd performance of “Slutty Cyrus” on the V.M.A.’s. Broadcasting lunatic Alex Jones believes the D.C. naval yard shooting was a “false flag.” Jones thinks the government staged the whole thing. LOL. Ex-reality star Elisabeth Hasselbeck wants a video game registry. Finally, we unveil our new segment, “When Animals Get Pissed.”
Friday September 13, 2013 – It’s our special Friday the 13th episode of Crab Nation! We rage over these news stories: eagles are flying to their death in evil liberal wind farms; Northern Europe is the happiest place on the Earth of which to exist and not the United States; Canada and Australia boasts the most livable cities on the planet; don’t look know but there’s a ton of fecal matter in public restroom soap dispensers and holy water.
Tuesday September 10, 2013 – What up Crabbers! On this episode we discuss the following: Chuck Norris and his idiot sound bites; science says small balls makes a better dad; Bachmann, Gohmert & King GOP clown trip to Egypt; Pat Robertson warns us about the gay assassins.
Friday September 6, 2013 – Catch this episode of Crab Nation if you wanna learn all about Mormon weddings, a wounded kitty mayor in Alaska, and a plan by a New Jersey school district to starve students that need mo’ lunch money. Also, give it up for Rachel Maddow for her awesome smack-down of war criminal, Donald Rumsfeld. Finally, the Crabs would like to congratulate the great Wendy Davis for winning her lawsuit against some evil Texan conservatards.
Tuesday September 3, 2013 – This time on CrabNation, Pat and Ryan – aka your favorite commie pinko libs – provide you with another “When Animals Get Ticked” segment. We discuss gators, sharks and near death by chipmunk. We also rage about the following: Bieber’s new career trajectory as a rapper; Diana Nyad’s water trek from Cuba to the Keys; Ted Cruz and Steve King go hunting together; there’s a $50 cover for puking in a cab in Florida; burning a dwarf is never fun especially for the dwarf; and finally, is my cup pink or are you attempting to sexually assault me.
CrabNation August 2013:
Friday August 30, 2013 – On this CrabNation, the following happens: we learn that everything is awesome about Cory Booker including his nails; Miley and Bieber twerk each other; a woman takes a thick wad of cash and creates her own safety deposit box; Texas becomeseven more Deadwood-like; Bryan Fischer makes the case that Hillary Clinton will be too saggy to run for president in 2016; and finally, a teabagger is dumb.
Tuesday August 27, 2013 – The guys get their twerk on and review Miley’s VMA performance. Conservative radio host Bryan Fischer can sux it. The best Jack Ryan ever, a.k.a. Alec Baldwin, gives a paparazzo a lil’ tune-up. Pat and Ryan learn why it’s not a good idea to swim in the rivers of Darwin, Australia. Glenn Beck will fire anyone that recycles because of global warming, and we give a big crabby “F” you to some crooked televangelists.
Friday August 23, 2013 – Crab Nation tries to reserve space on an ark built to biblical specs. Seattle cops are handing out Doritos with “Marij-What Now?’ pamphlets stuck to the bag. And uh-oh, the Obama’s don’t have any white dogs. Finally, there’s a measles out break in a super dumb church that doesn’t believe in medicine.
Tuesday August 20, 2013 – Join your favorite foul-mouthed liberals this episode as Ryan and Pat fling Crab crap at the Republicans who cheered when their rep. told a little girl her father should be deported, and at the Texas effers that booed a disabled, gay veteran. We learn sharks and bears are really ticked off at us; Glenn Hamhead Beck is ticked off at Oprah; and everyone’s ticked off at Ryan Braun. This show’s unintentional theme: waking up in strange places.
Friday August 16, 2013 – This time, Ryan and Pat give two “claws up” to the old Spanish lady whose “restoration” of a Jesus fresco into a monkey fresco is a hit with tourists. Someone finally wakes up to the fact that the NYC policy should be called “Stop and Frisk and Pork The 4th Amendment in the Rear”. Ryan prefers to have his balls and fouls called by humans; apparently the Swiss love for chocolate doesn’t extend to Oprah; and we wonder which tastes better, the Hilter Cabernet or the Stalin Pinot? Finally the Crabs actually agree with Ham Head (Glenn Beck) on something: the fact that he’s a clown.
Tuesday August 13, 2013 – On this episode, Crab Nation gives its blessing to any Christian fundamentalists that would like to flee the “show me your papers state” of Arizona to Micronesia. Also, we learn that it’s easier to get shot if you live in a state with Deadwood-style gun laws. Finally, Pat shoves a verbal foot directly into the anal cavity of a simpleton, jerk-judge in Tennessee.
Friday August 9, 2013 – Weed, weed, weed, and more weed on this Crab Nation. We learn all about purple kush politics, medical marijuana dispensary raids, and we listen to the Johnny-come-lately Sanjay Gupta’s 420 friendly conversion. The ultra-liberal, badass Mike Papantonio gets a shout out and Ryan calls Glenn Beck a little ham-faced, big, fat, sweaty-skinned, freak-a-zoid, Jabba the Hutt, jerk
Tuesday August 6, 2013 – Crab Nation attacks the Discovery Channel for sucking; Ozzie Guillen blames Madonna for A-Rod’s suspension; the best and worst party schools; “Hey mate, lookout for that fatberg!”; and finally, has your crapper been hacked?
Friday August 2, 2013 – Crab Nation gives a big “F” you to Riley Cooper and Michael Vick. Country music star, Toby Keith also catches some shrapnel for no good reason. We learn about domesticated chickens and a rash of bear attacks in the redneck riviera. The libtards also welcome the idea of a certain juicer starting his own roid-league.
Tuesday, August 30, 2013 – Crab Nation dissects the benching of Braun, Obama’s Trayvon speech, and the supreme spawn Royal Baby. Pat explains why Steve King is a dingle-berry upon the a-hole of a syphilitic lizard crawling through a cesspool of AIDS infected blood farts.
CrabNation July 2013:
Friday, July 26, 2013 – On this episode of Crab Nation, we examine abortion contracts, a gun-crazed-libtard-hating sheriff, and guess what America, the Christ-a-ban is alive and well in Alabama. Also, Pat and Ryan mount a serious protest against a bill outlawing BJ’s.
Tuesday July 23, 2013 – Crab Nation dissects the benching of Braun, Obama’s Trayvon speech, and the supreme spawn Royal Baby. Pat explains why Steve King is a dingle-berry upon the a-hole of a syphilitic lizard crawling through a cesspool of AIDS infected blood farts.
Friday July 19, 2013 – On this Crab Nation, The CrabDiving guys (Pat & Ryan) review Al Sharpton’s hot, young squeak toy, Michael Vick’s latest attempt at redemption, and the most controversial wiki pages. Also, shouts out to Stevie Wonder for his boycott of the Worst State and we raise our glasses to the great train wreck that is Andy Dick.
Tuesday July 16, 2013 – Crab Nation plays Angry Grandpa’s Travyon rant. Justin Bieber is still a jerk-off, BTW. We give it up to the freak and his no-hitter. And hey, tea-baggers, filibuster this! Plus tons of other freaky stories.
Friday July 12, 2013 – Crab Nation revisits the crappy behavior of pee-pop culture icon, Justin Bieber, gives the Coke Brothers the middle finger, and covers a massive K-Y Jelly spill in “Gunters”-ville, Alabama. Also, Pat adds a couple of peeps to his “drop dead list.”
Tuesday July 9, 2013 – Crab Nation addresses the general crappy-ness of Pat Robertson and the shady Catholics. We also chat about our favorite centaur juice-head, A-Rod; filthy restaurants; and Hitler fried chicken.
Friday July 5, 2013 – Holy crap! Download the latest Crab Nation where Pat and Ryan discuss abortion rights, fireworks disasters, rodeos, racist kids on YouTube, the atheist monument plus a cornucopia of white trash news stories.
Tuesday July 2, 2013 – The scary liberals of Crab Nation grapple with vaginal probes, monkey head transplants, and you’ll never guess Pat’s special talent. Plus, a minor league baseball team in Alabama gives tribute to the 2nd amendment by holding a “gun raffle night.” We also celebrate the brown-i-fication of the most populous U.S. state. And you don’t wanna miss the voice of the show calling in with a girl on girl happy ending tale.
CrabNation June 2013:
Friday, June 28, 2013 – Big shocker! On this episode of Crab Nation, Patrick Viall and Ryan Pfeiffer spend a good amount of bandwidth preaching the evils and general suck-age of Texas. We also give a big crabby salute to congressional warrior Wendy Davis for taking on Rick Perry and his old white male, women-hating cronies. Is Aaron Hernandez the most ill-behaved athlete ever? BTW, Bieber is a moron and congrats to our LGBT listeners.
Tuesday June 25, 2013 – The Crab Nation makes fun of a bunch of horribly racist Republicans that love their guns.
Friday June 21, 2013 – On the latest Crab Nation: Ryan and Pat take the “How Progressive Are You Test?”; talk about the buttery racist Paula Deen; send out birthday wishes to the newest celeb-u-tard, “North West”, courtesy of Kim and Kanye; and big ups to ex-Yankees’ manager Joe Torre’s daughter for catching that baby. BTW, Lebron James dresses like a total douche and best of luck to the Alabama jail bird running for congress.