As the GOP government shutdown looms, The Crabs cover Schumer’s fruitless last-minute meeting with Trump. Lindsey Graham has the vapors over the extremist turdslinging of Stephen Miller and Tom Cotton. Cotton fired back with snarky some Twitter shade. Despite triggering gag reflexes, we list some of the interesting, gross details of Trump’s lame game and shark phobia, as depicted by pornette Stormy Daniels. Shitler played pro-life for an anti-choice conference, somehow managing not to mention the probable dozens of “tremendous” abortions for which he’s paid. A FOX “News” guest prefers nazi citizens over upstanding DACA-protection recipients. Conservaloons are squealing “release the memo” over a disinformation-filled, heavily-spun screed penned by the jockstrap washer for Team Treason, Devin Nunes. Another racist cop in Kentucky… shocker. A group of Trump supporters get pissy when an apostate calls them cultists. Young Icelanders are way enlightened, with zero percent saying they believe the Bible creation story. Televangelist mega-slime Kenneth Copeland is laughing his ass off at the suckers who bought him a new plane. And we give one more reason to hate Chick-Fil-A.
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