Trump is now a big, fat, orange, lying felon. The felonious ex-POTUS showed how beaten “like a dog” he is with his fatigued, scattered babblings outside the court afterwards. Everyone totally believes that Melania, Barron, and Ivanka allegedly snuck into Trump Tower to “rally around” The Don. We think “Lil’ Marco” Rubio compared the former guy’s trial to Cuban show trials and executions, but the Florida senator’s elocution suffers with his tongue cupping Trump’s sack like that. Billionaire loon Elon Musk really hates that rich, powerful dudes can be held accountable for crimes and crap. The entire universe echoed with the belly-laughs of all sentient beings after J.D. Vance said Trump supporters are non-violent. The Freedom From Religion Foundation got a Minnesota jail to paint over murals of religious quotes and Bible bollocks. Trumpy pastor Shane Vaughn says the great wealth of “supernatural finances” Jesus received at birth is why it’s cool for pastors to drive Cadillac Escalades. And more!
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