The Crabs pinch off the following headlines: Senator Ted Cruz announces he will vie for the presidency of a nation he once attempted to shut down; Mike Huckabee reckons he could wield a column of god-fire; Jerry Brown, leader of the Californians, thinks Cruz is “absolutely unfit” #agreed; Cooter from the television series “Dukes Of Hazzard” is using his star power to further the causes of the “Sons of the Confederacy”; Costa Rica don’t need no stinking non-renewable energies; Pat Robertson gets sad angry white man boner for Reagan; Lindsay Graham declares climate change to be real and caused by the toils of big, strong men. Finally, Pat and Ryan discover who turned Jesus white and how many girl on girl relationships “The Voice” of CrabDiving had in rehab.
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