On Memorial Day, the Crabs eagerly salute Gohmert gay space colonies and anticipate a Republicanish third party candidate, as coyly hinted at by long time Iraq War cheerleader and GOP-leaning ninny Bill Kristol. Former Attorney General Eric Holder says Edward Snowden did Murica a solid with his infamous whistle blowing that landed the intelligence analyst in Russian exile. That poor gorilla that was shot to death at the zoo was protecting that kid, per recent video evidence. A lawmaker from Georgia even creeps out his fellow Republicans by going a little too heavy with the his god malarkey in speech to Congress. Homophobe hack broadcaster Coach Dave is a total c-word with his anti-trans rhetoric. Kooks in the KKK are handing flyers in an effort to stoke feelings of xenophobia in Alabamastan. Gordon Klingenschmitt thinks Caitlyn Jenner needs an exorcism. Japanese parents don’t score any patenting points when they abandon their child in bear-infested woods. Finally, Orange-Butthole-Face AKA Trump says the California drought is over.
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