On today’s raucous show we learned that Twitter banned Alex Jones and we predict massive manbaby butthurt to ensue. Trump has apparently been more paranoid and nutballs than we imagined, and is mounting a full-fledged Inquisition to unearth the writer of the New York Times anonymous op-ed. Meanwhile, human tackle dummy Rand Paul suggests that POTUS should put all of Washington on a lie detector to ferret out the author. Bookies are even taking bets on who wrote the Times piece, with Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III leading the pack. SCOTUS nominee and Handmaid’s Tale LARPer Brett Kavanaugh called birth control “abortion-inducing drugs,” and in the past has claimed Roe v. Wade isn’t settled law. The Oscars reversed their moronic decision to create a new “Popular Movie” category. A jury gave a man a one dollar fine and zero jail time for punching a Nazi scumbag in Charlottesville. In Wisconsin, some a-holes called the police on a black teen driving his white grandmother, thinking he was “robbing” her.
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