Trump told a seven-year-old belief in Santa is “marginal” at her age, whatever the hell that means. Shitler secretly traveled to Iraq for his first military visit of his racist, loony presidency. Our rapist-in-chief managed to bust out two yuge lies while addressing troops in Iraq. Father of Sarah, Mike Huckabee offered an odd analogy regarding Trump’s dark exchange with a child regarding the existence of Saint Nicholas. A Guatemalan boy died in U.S. custody at the border. Disgraced actor Kevin Spacey is damned in a sexual assault case by a Snapchat clip. A whacko C-Span caller proclaimed the government shutdown would hasten Biblical end times, cuz Jeebus. SCOTUS Ruth Bader Ginsburg was released from hospital after successful cancer removal surgery. The Crabs reviewed why some didn’t vote in the midterms. Tragically, a paperboy was shot at by a surprised, paranoid gun-owner who thought the newsprint delivery was a home invasion. A rapist attempted a defense that relied on basing the victim’s age on the insane, thick-headed, evangelical theory of life beginning at “load.” We learned all about a new airline catering exclusively to god-botherers. Finally, Pat and Ryan bade the Satanist Club at North Carolina University congrats on their inception.
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