According to an article in the always hard-hitting Style Section in Today.com, the wrong Miss Florida was crowned. You may ask yourself, “How could this injustice have happened?” You might also ponder the question, “Who gives a flying fuck?” And furthermore, where the Hell was President Jimmy Carter when the shit went down? The ex-peanut farmer should have been pulled away from saving the Middle East to help these idiots decide the current queen of the Peninsula of #Murica
Elizabeth Fechtel was originally dubbed the finest in the Miss Florida contest.
However, one judge was a little sloppy with his handwriting and his stupid vote was misread. I guess the butter-fingered beauty pageant decider scribbled his choice for prettiest princess along the side of his ballot. What an asshole, right? Anyway, the new Miss Sunshine State is Victoria Cowen. Congrats to Florida on another outstanding fuck up.
Meanwhile, in Delaware, Amanda Longacre has been ousted from her throne as the hottest due to the fact that she was born way back in 1990 during the post-cassette tape era. The evil, Sith Lord like powers that be are even pulling her scholarship the came with the title. #Peoplesuck.
For someone born when Ace Of Base was number one, Amanda still has it.