The Daily Upper Decker – E020 Wed 032515 – March Madness Recap, Wiz Khalifa A Joke, Steve Nash Commemorated

The Daily Upper Decker recaps the Madness of March. Villanova and Virginia give their fans another dick sandwich. The refs blow again this year. The NFL Veteran Combine was a bigger joke than Wiz Khalifa. Osama Bin Laden would be a more controversial signing than Greg Hardy. Darren Sharper may have raped you.  And a special “Fact or Fudge” commemorating Steve Nash.

wiz k

CrabDiving – Fri 032715 – AZ Tea Party Loony Wants Mandatory Church, Mike Pence A Putz, Glenn Beck Enters Thunderdome

On #FaithlessFriday, the Crabs cover the following stories: it turns out copilots should never be without company; jerk-off Governor Mike Pence takes a well deserved Twitter reaming; who knew MSNBC feared the wrath of country music fans; Glenn Beck is engaged in a thunderdome like combat with the GOP where three men enter and only one man leaves; Bibleman banished from the schools of Tennessee; mandatory church is a wet-dream for an Arizona Tea-Loony. Finally, Pat and Ryan cover the horrendous top five songs in ‘Murica per Billboard, as well as an even more offensive, anti-gay ruling from a shithead judge in Texas.

AZ State Sen Sylvia Allen Mandatory Church - CrabDiving

 

The Hollywood Hick – Tue 032415 – Empire Finale (*SPOILERS*), Wonder Woman Needs Big Ones

A trip to Knott’s Berry Farm theme park brought maniacal laughter to a Hick; Suge Knight passed out when the judge smacked him with $25 million bail; TMZ really didn’t need to play the 911 call from David Crosby from when he hit a dude with his car; Univision guy fired for First Lady “Planet of the Apes” comment was also trying to “Norma Rae” the company; Wonder Woman plain and simple needs two, big titties; Lil Twist is cray cray and in a shit ton of trouble. And ***SPOILERS ALERT*** Brent can’t hold back any more on summarizing and reviewing the season finale of Empire, complete with “the best cliffhanger since Dynasty when the rebels came in and shot up the Moldavian wedding.”

empire promo - The Hollywood Hick

CrabDiving – Thu 032615 – Cruz Ain’t Galileo, Willie Nelson Weed, Takei Gives Pence A Tongue Lashing

On Thursday, the Crabs deliver the following headlines: no one seems to be tolerating Indiana’s intolerance; a foreskin intactivist launches a “prick-starter” campaign skin to end schlong snipping; Willie Nelson will not be the Walmart of weed; Keith Olbermann gets medieval on Indiana’s anti-LGBT laws; college basketball teams are employing chaplains on the taxpayer dime; Ted Cruz fancies himself a Galileo type #not; relax, twelve year-olds, One Direction will exist without Zayn Malik. Finally, the Crabs raise their progressive pinchers in salute to George Takei for the scathing words the ex-Starfleet Captain dispensed upon ninny homophobe Governor, Mike Pence.

George Takei boycotts Indiana