Trump aborted bombing Iran and the circumstances of the near attack, as described by Cheeto, sound dubious at best. Man-baby was accused of rape. . . again. The xenophobic ninnies at Fox and Friends said Shitler calling off the attack on Iran makes America look “weak”. The testimony of Hope Hicks at the House turned out to be more fruitful than people thought. Rhode Island joined the rest of the adult states by enacting legislation protecting women’s reproductive rights. New York state announced they’re decriminalizing the good herb. Satanists opened up a governmental meeting in Alaska with “Hail Satan!” Christian fraudsters on the Jim Bakker show claimed Jeebus blessed their ministry with an extra $5000. Speaking of sky-god loons, a preacher claimed the CEO of Heaven blessed him with golden fingers, squirt. A creepy molester-shepherd was busted for sexually abusing kids after confessing to his colleagues. In other Faithless Friday news, a flat-earther evangelical and a diddling minister with a penchant for illegal BDSM pics were both arrested. SCOTUS overturned the conviction of Curtis Flowers, whose juries were chosen by skin color. Violently anti-gay god-botherer Kevin Swanson warned progressive pop icon, Taylor Swift, that “sooner or later God will cut you down”.
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