Faux News creeper Eric Bolling got fired due to his penchant for sending unsolicited dick-pics to colleagues. Florida and coastal residents of Georgia braced for the arrival of Hurricane Irma. The Crabs heaped much praise upon the young girl that bested the moronic, soft-brained InfoWars “Journalist,”. By the way, moob-tastic Alex Jones heartlessly referred to this young girl as a “thug woman.” Conserv-a-twunt load Limbaugh evacuated for Irma despite recently blabbing the storm was a retailer-conspiracy. Hateful Christo-dink Kevin Swanson stupidly suggested SCOTUS immediately over-turn Roe V Wade in an effort to thwart the super storm. Former teen idol and current Jessus loon Kirk Cameron puked forth some drivel about god and the hurricane. RWNJ a-hole Dave Daubenmire said Trump should have called for a “Christian” national day of prayer regarding the big storm. A Christian movie production company was sued into the Stone Age over crappy, illegal robocalls featuring former governor Mike Phuck-a-bee. Pat and Ryan learned Joe Biden could be considering a run for POTUS. In news that is good, a study showed hardly anyone in the UK believes in sky-god. In another study, the Crabs learned there is much distrust among different religious groups. Evil scientists proved the existence of Viking commanders with inside-fun-parts. A vile Mormon cult was forced to pay out 16 million dollars for forcing a 14 year old girl to marry her freaking cousin, gross. Finally, on Faithless Fridays, Crabbers were treated to a clip of a loony Christian prophet repelling Irma with a fancy stick.