Trump gagged Don McGahn and surely Mother’s Husband is jelly. A federal judge sided with the House Dems over the subpoena for Shitler’s financial records. Iran called on PEEOTUS to address Iran with respect rather than with threats of war. We learned the creepy Ohio State wrestling team doctor abused tons of students while working alongside GOP twunt Jim Jordan. Freedom Caucus Republican Justin Amash became a unicorn within his treasonous party when he called for the impeachment of Cheeto. Homophobic VP Pence puked forth a commencement speech at Taylor University and many of the graduates walked out. Apple’s Tim Cook also gave a commencement speech, but the tech czar offered scathing criticism of his generation’s negative role in climate change. Pat listed some countries where Americans could go to college for free. Billionaire Robert F. Smith said he is paying off all student debt for the 2019 graduating class of Morehouse University. In a new biography, former NBA baller Lamar Odom explained how he beat a drug test for the Olympics by employing a fake black wang with a urinary reservoir built into the faux testicles. A puritanical Sith Lord of the Michigan GOP suggested abortions should be more painful for the woman and those seeking to terminate a pregnancy should just let sky-god take over. The Crabs reviewed the inexplicable support for President Mushroom Ween among Muricans hurt by his financial policies.
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