Headlines of Walmart sued for contributing to the opioid crisis were welcomed by CrabDiving today. A mutant COVID strain has already started in the U.S. Armed domestic terrorists attempted to storm the Oregon State Capitol Building and used chemical weapons on law enforcement. Florida Dems want the tremendous pile of yak-poo known as Congressman Matt Gaetz disbarred. White supremacist and terrorist organization The Proud Boys threatened to wreak havoc during Biden’s inauguration. The former legislature and current Minnesota simpleton Michele Bachmann was named Dean of Regent University. Hardly human Jared Kushner approved secret payments to shell corporations of campaign staff members from the campaign cuz corruption. Bridge-and-beach-closer Republican has-been Chris Christie blathered forth mouth-puke regarding another presidential run. AOC shouldn’t have cut to the front of the vaccination line. In what was surely a whacky moment that should have been recorded, Shitler told the Kraken she wouldn’t be named special counsel. Virus denier and anti-masker lunatic Deanna Lorraine was fired from Infowars and hopefully, the vacant talking-head will leave her parents be. Man-baby loyalists Ric Grenell, Hope Hicks, and a-hole Pam Bondi have recently been given gigs at the White House as the Rapist-In-Chief chaotically preps to exit stage left. Finally, a post-corona period of fun and debauchery has been predicted following the pandemic.
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