Trump blasted the intel chiefs for their Iran, North Korea, and other assessments based on facts, rather than his Shitlarian alternative facts. Starbucks issued advice to baristas on fielding questions about the former coffee oligarch Howard Schultz’s possible spoiler run for president. Frost quakes were reported in Pennsylvania due to the crazy cold weather. A survey showed most Muricans don’t expect Cheeto to strike an immigration deal with Congress. The Donald’s dumb plan to declare a state of emergency to get the racist wall erected may be ruined by Dems. Russians could be leaking Trump stuff to remind our tyrant-in-chief he’s heavily leveraged by Uncle Nips. The Senate Judiciary Chair requested the 411 on dandy Roger Stone’s recent arrest. Terrifying snakes in Australia are migrating into toilets to escape extreme heat. Blotch Nazi Steve Bannon uttered weird crap about “doing the Lord’s work” regarding his evil political shenanigans. Sadly, a Cali college board caved to public pressure and reinstated the creepy Pledge of Allegiance after heroically removing it from their meetings. A Florida college student was arrested for possessing an illegally modified, automatic AR-15. Womp womp.
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