A Hick didn’t listen to that punkinhead Fart Puss when he got inaugurated, but from the looks of it, there were lots more people at Obama’s. Plus there looks to be a shit-ton more the day after at the Women’s March. What was up with Kellyanne Mothertruckin Conway and that fricking inauguration outfit? Scott Baio wants Hollywood to stop whining about Fart Puss. Nazi puke Richard Spencer done got punched right upside his head while talking to a reporter on camera. Now Gwyneth Paltrow is stuffing jade eggs up inside her cooter, and OBGYNs are hollering “no!” A new Disney doll for Belle actually looks like Bieber. Homo-hating Tony Perkins had his own home flooded and destroyed by an act “of God”. Plus a story or two to make us all feel better about ourselves.