As Trump battles G7 allies, the Crabs reviewed the tweets, reactions and all the news surrounding the spat. Former Shilter campaign manager Paul Manafort received a new indictment. Cheeto Teats hilariously called for Russia to be reinstated into the G7. During a call with the leader of Canada, Donald got a lot wrong about The War Of 1812. A former Fox-bot now in the State Department explained the United States’ great relationship with Germany by pointing out D-Day. Former NBA baller Dennis Rodman announced he was heading to the North Korea summit on the dime of PotCoin. A FLOTUS spokesperson said the First Lady hasn’t discussed her thoughts about the Stormy situation – or ANY situation – with Giuliani. The legal team of activist Colin Kaepernick will subpoena Trump and Pence. Warriors Coach Steve Kerr blasted The Donald’s White House military sing-a-longs as fake patriotism. Anthony Bourdain committed suicide and RWNJ troll Alex Jones offered up a vile, insane conspiracy regarding the CNN personality’s death. Speaking of the Infowars Czar, Jones suggested spiritual vampires have fed upon the essence of kids. Conserva-twunt Liz Crokin said Kate Spade may have killed herself because she was of course a satanic pedophile. A 94 year-old woman was told her “Impeach Trump” sign in her front yard was too large. An alligator pulled a Florida woman walking her dogs into a pond. Finally, a newly elected progressive county commissioner in Northern Georgia took her oath of office with her fist in the air while resting her other hand upon the autobiography of Malcolm X.
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