Trump and Putin joked about election meddling at the G20 in Japan. The United States Women’s Soccer Team won the quarterfinals for the World Cup, defeating France. A dangerous heat wave is torturing Europe. The Crabs analyzed night two of the Democratic Presidential debates. Racist Sith Lord Ken Cuccinelli blamed the drowned migrant man for the death of his daughter in that infamous pic from our southern border. A particularly heinous RWNJ load-a-sauras blamed witchcraft for poisoning the brains of Americans turning them against Shitler. An Alabama Ford dealership offered a complimentary Bible, flag, and shotgun with car purchases. President Carter said Trump wouldn’t have been elected were it not for Russian interference on his behalf. An ethics committee in Congress announced they were looking into FL Rep. Matt Gaetz’s threatening tweet to Man-baby’s former lawyer, Michael Cohen. The military has a super duper space laser that can identify a person from a good distance by their heartbeat. The Crabs learned the ginormous Bronze Age torture device displayed on public land near CrabDiving HQ will stay for now. Christo-twunt Jim Bakker peddled an anti-STD gel on his Jeebus-themed home shopping network. A sky-god-licker was arrested for interrupting a Drag Queen story hour.
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