Trump sucker Rudy Giuliani butt-dialed a reporter while he was talking to a fellow henchman about an urgent need of cash and a hankering to get back to Bahrain and business. Republicans are admitting worry over the impeachment battle. A judge ordered the release to Congress the full grand jury details from the Mueller Report. Moscow Tulsi announced she won’t seek re-election for her seat. A Christian author said she ignored Jeebus when he spoke to her directly, giving her the next day’s winning lottery numbers. Sky-god fraud Jim Bakker compared the impeachment inquiry to a satanic snake. The Crabs learned Jarvanka shall celebrate their ten year anniversary at Camp David, squirt. Trump-skunk Betsy Devos was found in contempt for ignoring a judge’s ruling regarding certain student loans. Cheeto waddled into a historically black university and explained to an audience comprised of just seven university students and the rest deplorable seat-fillers how he was cheated by the Dems in 2016. Finally, Shitler took his name off a famous Central Park ice rink.
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