The Crabs rage about the following: Levi Johnston, ex-simpleton-suitor to Bristol Palin, claims he was pummeled by wife Sunny; Sarah Palin responds to criticism from PETA (for how she allowed her kid to stand on a dog) by reminding everyone that Barack Hussein once Obama feasted on Fido; Bill Clinton may have been jetting off to orgies #shocker; Gohmert informs Murica that if he is not elected as Speaker (shudder), devastation to the country will ensue; Pat Robertson encourages a trip to the woodshed, a strong male figure and the blessing of holy discipline meted out upon a young stoner, who is just trying to get through Christmas dinner; Ferguson Grand Juror sues to make a gag go away. Finally, we learn an alternate meaning for “otter.”
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