Russia’s American nuclear targets were revealed on their state-run media. Intel officials say they are nervous about Trump’s love connection with Kim Jong Un. That whacko, Alabama newspaperman who suggested the KKK “night ride” into DC to lynch politicians with hemp said he is retiring to “sex young women.” Venezuela’s self-declared interim president Guaido met with Mike Pence and foreign allies to discuss an anti-Maduro strategy. Shitler’s former attorney Michael Cohen shall employ craploads of documentary evidence to tell his Cheeto stories to the government. Former Democratic House honcho Harry Reid said G.W. Bush was the Babe Ruth of presidents compared to The Donald. A German dude’s dog squeezed off a round from a pee-shooter which caused the owner to lose his firearm license. A scorpion startled passengers on an Indonesian flight. The people of Chapel Hill, South Carolina shouted down racists, telling them to go home. A snake that got lost on a Scotland-to-Glasgow flight was caught and then released back to nature. Ancient Jesus bot Pat Robertson suggested gay people want to destroy society with their “weird way of having sex.” Locusts are getting all up in the grill of the Mideast. A GOP loon suggested Cali go with speed limit-free traffic lanes. 
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