Republican Kabuki theatre takes center-stage on this episode of CrabDiving. Pat and Ryan cover the hullabaloo surrounding the opening in old saggy SCOTUS. Apparently, South Carolinians don’t know that Jeb Bush is the brother of a former president. A Japanese actor is possibly murdered via samurai sword during rehearsal. Ted Cruz pulls a spot because the main actor had appeared in naughty pictures. An a-hole lawyer claims it was his client’s second amendment right to shoot his neighbor in the hand. A Ted Cruz bot tells MSNBC that the separation of church and state is a mere myth. Because Jebus snuffed out Scalia, Ted Cruz must be anointed our country’s President and savior, according to the well put together Glenn Beck. Alex Jones says Hell is breaking loose cuz Obama had Scalia whacked. Furthermore, lunatic-homophobe-dick Rick Wiles thinks Scalia was killed by Obama with numerology in mind. In further Obama news, Barack was a gay hooker back in the day, says a candidate for the Texas Board Of Education.
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