Elon is roman-saluting his way into tanking approval polls. CrabDiving H.Q. was hit with nearly a foot of snow, part of a polar vortex! The MAGATS and maybe China might chase away Musk. Elmo is sad-pants because Dear Leader announced an AI deal with a prettier tech bro. White supremacist weasel Nick Fuentes confirmed the Tesla Czar did a Nazi salute, duh. Evangelical caterwauler and racist Shane Vaughn busted forth mental gymnastics to prove President Rape-face had his hand on the stupid Bible during the coronation. Police Unions complained about Shitler’s January 6th pardons. The toothless, purely theatrical oversite committee for DOGE will be led Meth-MAGAT Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, who rose to fame for harassing school shooting survivor, David Hogg. The heroic Episcopal Bishop of Washington, Mariann Edgar Budde was defiant in her speech at the crowning of King Creamsicle. More of this.
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