The emoluments suit against Trump continues and surely that gave Shitler a tremendous taint cramp. Republican Georgia state Rep. Jason Spencer resigned after his pantless, racist encounter with actor Sacha Baron Cohen. Colonel Sanders a.k.a, John Bolton bellowed the second Donald/Vlad suck-fest would be postponed. The VFW apologized to its members for Trump’s insulting jabs at the press at the recent hate rally. The Senate passed a bill banning gag clauses in pharmacy contracts. The Toronto Mayor called for immediate gun control following a mass shooting. Leaked emails show cops in Columbus set up Stormy Daniels’ arrest for illegal contact at a strip club. A dude in Virginia found a python inside a crapper. In other snake news, a Tennessee community is on the lookout for a rogue python. A bear in Pensacola took up residence in a tree behind a McDonald’s. Telepathy and a blinking strategy was utilized to coax a cougar out of an Oregon living room. Scientists found a huge underground lake on Mars. Jesus freak Bryan Fischer suggests a ban on gay-man-sex would stop AIDS. Finally, the Crabs learned the not-so-shocking truth that evangelicals are diversity haters.
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