Wednesday’s CrabNation brings you the following stories: a Brit fakes his own kidnapping to get out of hanging with his bird; racist ex-relief pitcher for the tomahawk-chopping Braves will compete on Survivor #boycottSurvivor; according to a ninny on Fox, Eric Holder is a race-baiter and has turned the DOJ into the Black Panthers; a bunch of white cops claim that a black suspect in hand cuffs pulled a gun out of thin air and was then able to contort himself in such a manner that would allow him to shoot himself in the chest #credible; Flip Benham is a tool #nobodylikesyou; Bryan Fischer thinks God is using ISIS to punish Murica #I’mwithstupid. Finally a big Crabby middle-finger to the journalist from ESPN who thought Michael Sam’s showering habits were newsworthy.