The mystery GOP health care bill will still be voted for by idiot conserva-jerks, even though the loons don’t even know WTF is in the darn thing. Crooked Kushner unconvincingly proclaimed he never colluded with Russia. The Polish president vetoed attempted shenanigans by their totalitarian regime. Pat and Ryan learned,during an extended “When Animals Get Pissed” segment, alligators are becoming agitated due to rising temperatures. Speaking of gators, a mayor in upstate New York announced a dinosaur throwback was on the loose in his northern hamlet. A young girl nearly got her foot chewed off by a giant fish. A snake was electrocuted at some power junction box thingy in Florida and caused 20,000 to lose electricity. But wait there’s more! A mountain lion crashed through a window and landed upon a napping lady and nobody died. Strong-man and Czar of the Philippines, Duterte rejected Cheeto Fingers invite to the White House, due to America’s lousiness. In a Faithless Friday moment, RWNJ Christo-twink Matt Barber said PEEOTUS should purge Obama hires and replace them with conservative Christians.
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