The Crabs spread the following headlines on Thursday: Bill O’Reilly girds his loins in preparation for the oncoming onslaught upon Christmas; Alex Jones and Skeksis Phyllis Schlafly sound barely human demonstrating total apathy towards the people suffering from Ebola in Africa; Kirk Cameron can’t stomach “Sparkle Season” or evolution #ShowMeThatSmileAgain; in the event of his untimely and what I’m sure would be an oh so dramatic death, Glenn Beck speculates on the level of talent that would be required of his successor #lovemedaddy. Finally, we discuss the total urine output of the animals on Noah’s Ark #battendownthehatches!
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