Trump threatened obliteration after Iran called him “retarded.” Consumer confidence dropped to the lowest levels since September 2017. Migrant kids held at a particularly heinous Trump concentration camp were temporarily moved for the sake of optics. Wayfair faced protests from their workers over contracts the furniture maker has with border detention facilities. Shitler tossed a tremendous world salad when asked if his orange, rapey face should be added to Mount Rushmore. Prosecutors say Congressman Duncan Hunter used campaign money to shag outside of his marriage but then threw his wife “under the bus” when the financial shenanigans were investigated. We learned the evil citizenship question forced upon the census by the wretchedly corrupt Wilbur Ross shall be investigated. The rapist-in-chief said he didn’t rape his latest accuser, but we all know Trump lies. Melanoma announced her mouthpiece would be the next press secretary. A former Faux News talking head said he left Trump’s favorite network because of partisan misinformation from the right. A poll comprised of progressive folk showed Elizabeth Warren in first, followed by Biden and Bernie. Soccer superstar Megan Rapinoe ripped Cheeto a new hole and proclaimed she’d never visit the fascist-in-chief’s White House. Fake AG Bill Barr blocked seven different lines of inquiry by the Mueller team. Crap Christian Jerry Falwell Jr. lashed out at fellow religious types criticizing the orange DNA dollop’s immigration policy.
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