Melania wants to go home. Facebook has been slapped with antitrust lawsuits. Pfizer said they were meeting with the FDA to discuss an issue people with food allergies are having with their vaccine. Biden tapped Buttigieg for the Chinese ambassadorship. Man-baby attempted to give Representative Swalwell crap over a nothing-burger spy scandal. Crooked JEEBUS look Jim Bakker claimed sky-daddy told him the failure to reelect Trump would result in an anti-Christ take over of America. GOP load Loudermilk called for author and liar David Barton to chair Shitler’s evil 1776 commission. The Crabs covered two horrendous shark attacks. In Australia, a surfer was able to wrestle away from the jaws of a great white with only having lost a chunk from a thigh and back. A surfing competition in Hawaii took a pause because of a nearby attack. Finally, rounding out a thoroughly terrifying “When Animals Get Pissed” segment, a fundamentalist preacher in Alabama attempted to kill his wife via snakebite. The corrupt AG of Texas decided to sue to overturn Biden’s win and certain crappy states have shown support. Oxy walrus and Medal of Freedom recipient Rush Limbaugh admitted conservatives and liberals can’t coexist. The sad blotch Nazi AKA Steve Bannon mumbled mouth-garbage about how President Poo Pants still has a path to victory.
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