Session targets Marijuana and the Crabs covered the unjust proclamation made by our gollum AG. GOP Senator Gardner felt betrayed over Sessions’ weed crackdown. Colorado’s top prosecutor suggested he’s not interested in stepping up marijuana enforcement. Shitler threatened meth-walrus Bannon and the publisher of the recent bombshell book about crazy White House antics with a lawsuit. The first daughter spilled the beans to a friend about Trump’s hilariously strange hair maintenance. The Crabs also learned that Donald and Melania sleep in separate beds. Evil donor Mercer issued a public rebuke of former White House strategist Bannon. Load Limbaugh alleged the White House leaks always originated with corpulent Nazi Bannon. Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones likened Bannon’s critique of Trump to a rape/mugging. PEEOTUS nicknamed Bannon “Bam-Bam” based on how the Czar of Breitbart beat his wife. Speaking of fascist dicks, Sebastian Gorka stupidly suggested Bannon and Trump were fighting because of their alpha-male status. During a horrendous Huckabee press conference, the White House showed a video of Cheeto Teats giving bizarre shout-outs of his accomplishments. The Mad Dog Pac put up a billboard in Pensacola featuring the mug shot of RWNJ legislator Matt Gaetz. Trump’s golfing habit cost Murica 43 million bucks last year. Finally, Don-the-Con’s ridic voter fraud commission was put to rest. 
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