Pelosi finally ordered an impeachment inquiry following the latest revelations about Trump’s phone call with the president of Ukraine. Trump immediately used Pelosi’s announcement as an avenue for campaign fundraising. Representative Adam Schiff said the whistleblower wants to chat with the House Intel Committee. Sack of kraken squirt Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross appeared to fall asleep during Cheeto’s sluggish speech to the U.N. Climate-change activist Greta Thunberg made short work of The Donald on Twitter. Firefighter “prophet” (for profit) Mark Taylor insists Barack Obama will be arrested, tried by military tribunal, The UK Supremes ruled that Prime Minister BoJo’s shutdown of Parliament was unlawful. Putin’s favorite Democrat Tulsi Gabbard made the third presidential debate. According to a New Hampshire poll, Elizabeth Warren has been killing it, taking the top spot from former VP Joe Biden.
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