GOP White House Staff Secretary and alleged wife-beater Rob Porter resigned, despite the lamentations of Chief of Staff General Kelly. Progressives confronted General Kelly’s racist and insensitive remark regarding Dreamers. Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi issued a demand on immigration, putting the irresponsible and evil Republican budget plan at risk. The GOP thinks the governor’s sex scandal contributed to a progressive win in Missouri. A retired General damned Shitler’s plan for a military parade down Pennsylvania Avenue. Faux News’ Shep Smith trolled PEEOTUS with mini military replicas regarding the not-so-great leader’s desire for the pointless tank parade. Tragically, Idaho voted to remove climate change science from teaching materials. A study showed Trumpalos lead bigly in the proliferation of fake news. The E.U. gave the U.S. a solid smackdown by tying the acceptance of the Paris climate accords to future trade deals.